Its April 2018 and the CrossFit Open is over. I did better than last year and I’m ready for another great year of training. While exhausting, it is so cool
to have a time where we can really see how far we’ve come and try new things. My training, however, has recently been paused a bit.
Apparently, I’m not alone in being on the struggle bus. Mother nature is struggling to realize its April. Many of you are coming back from Spring Break trips with goals to eat healthy as we approach summer. Maybe you’re stuck in a work rut, tired of being indoors too much – we all need more sunshine on our faces! Its a weird time of year. But also right around the corner is hope, renewal and a new chapter…SPRING!
I’m a little stuck myself. I haven’t written a blog post in about three weeks even though I pledged to post once a week. I’ve had a pretty consistent travel schedule and I haven’t been training how I’d like (good thing I love what I do!) I did well packing my meals and staying on target while I was away, but it can be exhausting to keep up with everything. Working on my pull ups has been non-existent. With the demanding schedules we keep today it truly is easier to say f#&k !#.
I used to say f#&k !# ALL the time. It was easier. Temporarily. Over time I felt worse and worse…until it was 20-years later and I realized how obese, tired and depressed I really was. You know those times you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself? At 260 pounds I preferred to just put my head back in the sand.
|Top Pic: Me today. Bottom Pic: 2014, the summer before I began the JenX Journey.
As I’m writing this, I’m officially 4 pounds away from a total 100 pound weight loss. I’ve only lost a pound in about 30 days. And I have said f#&k !# more times than I’d like to admit. But this time, they were all for good and planned reasons.
|Two of my childhood best friends were married March 31. I celebrated with the hubs, good friends, cocktails and cake.
You’re probably wondering what happened to me? How does one just not say f#&k !# any more? I’ll tell you. You allow yourself to say it, but you do it differently.
What do I mean? Here’s an example. I’m an Indiana Pacers fan and they are heading to the playoffs this month. Its just like the NBA playoff series, you don’t have to win every game, but you do have the win the series to move forward.
Even though I have these big goals, every now and then cake and cocktails are not just a part of my journey, but a part of my success. I now know that as long as I don’t make a habit of cake and cocktails and get right back to my goals – I’m going to win the series. And, I don’t just think it – I know it.
The Former Queen of the Drive Through (me), would have made this an excuse to get back to my beloved pizza, cheese sauce, chicken fingers and of course, Diet Coke. (And it still sounds completely divine to me). But after 20-years, the weight takes its toll. It wasn’t making me feel better any more. I was getting very sick, winded climbing stairs and now looking back, I know I was very depressed.
This is easy to say and so very f#&k!ng hard to do. (Pardon my French, but that is the emotion I carry with this). And it goes for anything in life – work, relationships, family, dreams, goals, etc. Its hard to get where you want to go. So embrace the games you lose, learn from them. I even hesitate to say learn from them because sometimes we obsess too much about how we “screwed up” or ate something “bad.” Sometimes you just need to reflect and sometimes you need to just move on.
My transformational change boils down to how I get back up after losing a game (or in my case, eating the entire bag of chips, tub of ice cream or, hey mom where did all the leftover pizza go?)
Here’s how I get back up today. I remember what I’m trying to do BEYOND losing weight. I think about how far I’ve come and how hard I’ve worked. How I want to hike crazy hikes in the mountains and do things I’ve never done before. I think about how much I want to do a stupid pull up and most importantly, how much I want to age in a strong and powerful way. So I get back up, I drink all my water, I train and I get back to my eating plan, because – goals.
|Yes that is a Jell-O shot. Don’t judge. I didn’t eat it. But YES, that IS my Club Soda and lime on the table.
Cheers to winning the series! *raises glass of sparkling water*
xoxo – jxj